…by Meg White
The place Meg puts the stuff she wrote
The Unbearable Hilarity of Being Conservative
Categories: Commentary, Politics

by Meg White

Here at BuzzFlash, we usually get our giggles courtesy of Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and David Letterman. But lately the conservative channel has featured one comedic situation after another.

First, the House Republicans offered a budget alternative without numbers — that was comic genius!

Then there’s the sitcom that is Gov. Sarah Palin’s Alaska. On the most recent episode, we saw Palin’s temper tantrum over a teen boy talkin’ bad about her on the teevee. Now, you might have been fooled into thinking her office’s multiple press updates were sincere, but the big giveaway was the language. Who uses “over my dead body” in a press conference? C’mon, guys. The satire drips so copiously upon us from Juneau; don’t be too uptight to laugh.

Speaking of Alaska, Palin’s amazing comic sense must have rubbed off a bit on her nominee for state attorney general. Wayne Anthony Ross, after cracking up the audience at his confirmation hearing with his “gays are just like lima beans, ’cause I hate them both” and his “awooooga, isn’t that gal who nominated me a hottie?” routines, did his best Seth Rogen imitation, asking, “If a guy can’t rape his wife… who’s he gonna rape?”

Bwahahaahhaaaa!  So funny.

And now for something completely different. Seems the Republicans are getting to know that whole series of tubes well enough that they’re at the point at which they can use the Internet as a comedic prop. Unfortunately, they come off looking more like an 83-year-old version of Carrot Top than Gallagher.

Case in point: the now infamous teabagging movement. Their initially subversive organization has even transformed UrbanDictionary.com, the Web site that so many older Republicans failed to check out before declaring membership in the Teabagging Minority. Yes, now in addition to deviant sexual acts, the online dictionary lists “Republican activist” as one of the definitions of “teabagger.” There’s nothing funnier than pwning your own!

Another example of conservatives using the Internet to co-opt supposedly progressive values comes from those hilarious people over at the National Organization for Marriage. Not only is NOM kind of like the National Organization of Women only sort of upside down, but also their new anti-gay marriage initiative has me busting a gut.

NOM came up with a real hip way to refer to their new plan called Two Million for Marriage that totally spoofs 2M4M, a shorthand in gay-friendly personal ad sections referring to an all-male threesome. Yes, 2MFM will use gay lingo to finally triumph over the same-sex marriage debate using the magic of parody!

Even funnier, they didn’t buy up the domain name 2M4M.org, which is a pro-gay marriage site. Or even 2MFM.org, which is a Muslim community radio station’s site. I’m sure they’re planning on snapping up 2MFM.com and 2M4M.com as soon as they’re done with their brochures, to be printed on recycled Unitarian fliers (that’ll show those pseudo-believers!).

Wooo — wipes tears of laughter from eyes — that’s a good one. And the GOP shows no signs of slowing down, people, so stay tuned for more hilarity!

Personally, I’m with Brandon Crow at 411mania.com, who writes, “I’m just waiting for the rest of the clowns like Palin, Perry and Jindal to make us laugh as they all pile out of their little, tiny President 2012 clown mobile.”


Originally published at BuzzFlash.com.

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